Leave it to time to make me feel I'm getting old

So. I turned 50 today and I feel some kind of way about that. I have never, ever felt bad about getting older, maybe because I was always the youngest person in my classes at school. That feeling carried me through my 30s and 40s.

But every time family or friends would ask me what I wanted to do for my birthday this year I felt paralyzed with indecision, and honestly, I didn’t want to think about it. I’m not a big party person anyway. I still may have a low-key *something* but I haven’t hit on the right idea yet.

Photo by Felipe Santana on Unsplash

I woke up this morning fully realizing that I don’t FEEL like I’m 50. Somehow that number seems older than I am ready to accept. (Though I do remember 19 feeling weirdly old too, so who knows?)

But I am lucky to be here and healthy. And having a middle schooler at home makes me feel less old because I still get to learn the cool slang.

Also, I FOUND A JOB! More on that later, don’t want to jinx it before it starts next month, but I am so damn grateful for friends reaching out with leads. This one came together quick and it really does feel like The Universe was telling me to wait for this opportunity: fully remote contract PM work *not at Microsoft* with people I’ve worked with before (and liked!). It fit all my requirements and every single person who interviewed me was NICE. Not just interview-polite, but actively friendly and kind. And even the CEO reached out to me (!). I feel really good about this.

I love new beginnings, so I started a new Bullet Journal just in time for a new class I’m taking at ASU - American Government and Politics. I’m learning so much! Now I can use my BuJo for my NEW JOB too. Life is good even if the number feels unfamiliar. :)